I Don’t Feel Love for my Child
If you are reading this, your child is hard to love. Your child disrupts everything around you. He/she destroys furniture, doors, even their own toys during a tantrum; robs you of your sleep; tortures the family pet; will not comply at the simplest request, lies, hurts siblings, is never satisfied, cries and whines constantly……etc.
YOU are exhausted. You have tried everything, you think. You parent with yelling, spankings, taking toys away but nothing phases this child and nothing changes. You try to praise the child but he/she rarely does anything praiseworthy. You just want to get on the next plane and head north, east, south or west, anywhere that is far away from the chaos, the sleepless nights, the meltdowns, the disrespectful mouth. You’re done!!
If you have done the online assessment on this website and have discovered, or perhaps already knew that your child has ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) do not despair. You are in the right place.
All children thrive on unconditional love. These children, children who are labeled as ODD, have trouble receiving it. The children are “difficult” (Turecki, 1985). Two thirds of ODD children have ADHD and are hyperactive and impulsive. The remaining ODD-identified are either “on the spectrum” (of autism), suffer with anxiety or have some other type of mood disorder (either by virtue of genetics or trauma) (Nock, 2007). All of these children have touchy, irritable temperaments. They are uncomfortable children. They all frustrate easily. The children, by their very nature, upset the balance, shatter the peace, disrupt the flow of family life. Their fractious nature; their ability to cause chaos ; their demands; their tantrums draw on the very souls of their parents. Parents tearfully often think, “It’s so hard to love him.”
Stop feeling guilty. Right now, your child is hard to love. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with how your child works for your attention. Your child works to get reprimanded; see your eyes well up with tears; watch your face get tight and angry; hear you start to lecture with lots of words and emotion. Your child works to upset you. STOP!!!!!!!!!!
Please watch the first video (Video I: 45 minutes) and you will understand what is happening and what you can start to do about it.